3/30/2005

The LORD & My Hope Helmet

I am a sinner. Sheesh! I can't even keep track of all my sins. I don't want to keep doing it! I want to be holy, NOW! But I know that time brings change and change takes time (thank you, Nicole Nordeman). I am so glad I have stopped smoking. The one thing it was doing was keeping me just under the surface of change. If I am going to really take Romans 12 seriously I needed to quite smoking. Now I can offer my body as a living sacrifice, just slightly more holy and pleasing to God. And I thank the Lord for the flu because who knows if I would have stuck with my plan to quit on April 2nd (the next day I had off). Now even though my throat is raw and my lungs are sore, I can be thankful that it's a LOT easier to not suck smoke.

I am not worried about years to come. The Lord Jesus has redeemed us and transforms us by His Spirit. God's mercies are new every morning and every morning I am closer to His eternity. My hope is in Him and it will not be disappointed. I don't know how God will renew my mind tomorrow but I look forward to it.I feel like a firey southin' preacher, ya'll. Hallelujah! Yes, beloved, the Lord is my shelter, my fortress, my shepherd, my Father in heaven! And He shall never leave me or forsake me! How could I ever fear? How could I ever spend a moment worrying? Yes I am a sinner, saved by a merciful God. That is cause for joy! Amidst all suffering I have an enduring hope...

Hope is a helmet (1Thess 5:8). It protects the mind as it's being transformed. I know that my mind is twisted and my heart deceitful, but I have my helmet of hope on so that I can have my mind renewed and my heart purified without cracking my head on some satanic outcropping. Hope keeps me from getting distracted with the pleasures of this world. Nothing compares to the hope I have in my Christ, Savior, Holy, Beautiful JESUS! What more could I ask for than an eternity spent as a member of the Creator's family? Why would I want anything else, ever?!

Jesus says, "Don't be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me. There are many rooms in my Father's home, and I am going to prepare a place for you. If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am." (John 14:1-3)

Jesus was there during the creation of everything and He is preparing a place for me in heaven. You know it's going to be the dopest crib ever, to say the absolute least. This life is short compared to eternal life, but all the more reason I should make the most of it. The most I can do is love. Love God and love others.

With this note shall I part: Matthew 6:
33... seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Nothing says it like the King James says it.

3/19/2005

Sushi & Truth

One thing I know I will learn in the city will be that I am not the only one. When I quote Fight Club and say, "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake," it's because it is so contradictory to how I feel about myself that I find it clever and ironic. I have been an anomaly since I can remember. It is always so disturbing to find out that I am just as important as everyone else and therefore unimportant. Here is where some of my beloved friends who think I am sinking into the deep end of low self-esteem will pipe in saying, "you ARE important! you are an amAzing person!" And I love them for it. But it doesn't help me because I know it and I like it too much. Do I want to stop hearing that I am amazing, talented, wonderful? Part of me lives off of it but the other part of me knows it is not nutritious. Truth is nutrition and the truth is I am just as important as everyone else.

When I eat sushi I feel like I have done my body good. When I drink a milkshake I feel bloated and fat and my mouth has that aftersweet sourness. Sushi and rice molecules seem to know exactly where to go in my body. They file (or swim, if you will) into the receptacles where they belong so that my blood almost feels thankful. That's what truth does for me. Sushi is expensive and so is truth. Truth can pass you by if you ignore it; sushi has a short shelf-life. I don't know if it's appropriate to draw parallels between sushi and truth but it makes sense in some dimension.

When I move down to the O.C. I will be stepping foot into the rushing stream of CITY. The city is a giant place where cultures collide and an individual must identify oneself with a particular group in order to feel protected. Big Bear is a place where locals are the group and we are protected just by living in the same place. When I was in L.A. I joined the musician group to which I belonged and fit into comfortably. In that group I got to feel important. But it was an illusion that was a handicap that was my failure. I know that my desire to feel important and anomalistic will follow me wherever I go. And I have no clue how or even if God will remove it from my earth-goggles. But knowing is half the battle and if this desire is warring with truth (since the truth is everyone else is just as anomalistic) then I want it defeated and removed. I pray that I will leave it behind for someone else in Big Bear to be deluded with.